The best compliment I ever got…

 

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I went to college and graduated many, many years ago. Choosing my life focus and “major” area of education was not a decision made lightly or without due process. I wanted to go into something that I would enjoy, since we spend an awful amount of time working in this life, and something that would give me an “adequate” income. In other words, I DO like to eat, and I particularly enjoy a roof over my head. For me, that choice was pretty simple. I got the first part of my goal right – “doing something that I loved.” The second part, however, “making an adequate income,” should have been looked at a little more closely – just sayin’…For you see, I chose the field of social work as my life profession. It was important for me to choose a profession in which I felt I could positively impact other people’s lives. I wanted to change the world!!! I wanted to find my “purpose” for being here!

It was my intent to work with juvenile delinquents; however, I could not find a job opening anywhere! A friend of mine heard that I was back in town from college, and that I had a degree in Social Work. She asked if I would consider interviewing for a job at the nursing home where she worked. I am pragmatic, if nothing else, and knew that I needed experience in my field to further my career, as well as pay for my living expenses. I interviewed, they liked me, and we argued that I should get a dime per hour over minimum wage since I had a college degree. I got that dime, and started at $2.35 an hour.

As they say, “the rest is history!” I absolutely had found my calling! I fell head over heels in love with those elders. That’s the background, here’s the story…

My love for old people began at an early age – with my grandparents. My grandmother and I had such a special bond. I don’t know that I could have loved anyone better or deeper. She taught me so much! And loved me beyond reason! My Dad also pastored little country churches, and if you know anything about country churches, you KNOW they are filled with old people. I just loved them all! We had such a connection that came so naturally! When I began at the nursing home, that love was evident to all in my care. And yes, I DID have favorites – no one ever knew, because I treated each one the same, but oh, there were some that just made my heart overflow.

One of those individuals was a tiny lady by the name of “Miss Mary.” She was 98 years old, and we simply “fed” off of each other. The day was not complete without a visit to her room, where I always got a hug, kiss, and a ready smile. There were times when she could sense that I was struggling, either with work or life, and she would always give me a little “extra” attention. I hope that I gave as much to her as she gave to me. My day was not complete until I saw this precious woman.

On one occasion, we had a particularly wonderful visit as I was about to leave the building for the day. She said, “I think I will walk with you to the front door.” We continued to talk and walked very slowly, her holding onto my arm for support, but also for that physical, caring contact. As I got ready to walk out the door, she gave me one more hug, told me she loved me, and then she put her sweet, soft hand on my cheek. She looked into my eyes rather intently and said, “If you were a pin, I would wear you every day!” My eyes flooded with tears as I hugged her again, and thanked her for the compliment. To imagine that someone would want you around so much that they would WEAR you!!! To this day, I have never received a compliment that was more meaningful than that one. It was so heartfelt and genuine. Sadly, later that year, she passed away, and left yet another hole in my heart. But that compliment? And Miss Mary? I will remember both till the day I die.

Do we give compliments anymore? Did you know that your body produces endorphins when you compliment someone else? So, not only do you make them feel good, you also make yourself feel good! Compliments don’t cost money, and don’t take anything from you – they are totally free. But what a true, sincere compliment does for the other person is like the commercial…PRICELESS! Why not try giving out compliments this week? Make a difference in someone else’s life, and in the process, make yourself feel better! Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

I heard from my Mama today…

Most of you knowimg_3031 that I began this blog as a result of the sadness I felt from my Mother’s journey into the world of Alzheimer’s Disease. She has been gone from us for over four years now. Some days it feels like a lifetime ago, and on others it feels like it just happened yesterday. The hole in my heart is just as large, and the loss is still unfathomable. If you have read many of my posts, you probably also know that I struggled because I no longer felt her near me. In my head, I had thought that because of our closeness, she would find a way to let me know she was still around, close to me, after she died. That did not happen, and I was distraught. That changed a while back, and here is the story…

Here is the background…my Mama was a seriously happy and positive woman! She would get up every morning singing. The songs were either gospel or, because she and Daddy loved the musical, “Oklahoma,” she would sing, “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning.” In fact, she loved that song so much that we had it playing at her wake as one of the background songs to her “Memories Video.” We loved to hear her sing that song!

Now to the present…I speak at a lot of different conferences across the United States. Usually at those conferences, they will have an evening banquet/awards dinner, or an awards luncheon.  And almost always, there is some kind of entertainment at those events. I don’t always get to stay for the festivities, but sometimes, due to flight schedules, I can at least eat a bite before I take off for another location.

On this particular trip, I had been the keynote speaker for a large conference in New Jersey. I love going to this particular conference because over the years, I have met and made some lifetime friends in this state. They bring smiles to both my face and heart. I had finished with my speaking commitments, and had to leave for the airport. Fortunately, for me, I had a later flight and was able to stay for the Awards Luncheon (and get something to eat). I was sitting with two of those very dear friends, who knew of my loss, and knew that I was still desolate.

As we were eating, they had a DJ playing my very favorite kind of music – 70’s disco! All of us were singing along with the songs, and “chair-dancing” between bites of food. He played song, after song, after song – and we knew ALL the words to every song! We relived where we were, who we were with, and what we were doing when the songs were popular. We were having a great time when, all of a sudden, he played a song that was NOT disco, NOT 70’s, NOT anything relative to his theme. Right smack dab in the middle of his playlist was……you guessed it, “Oh, What a Beautiful Morning!” Everyone looked up as if to say, “What in the world??? That’s not disco!” I was already crying because I knew the song was from my Mama. Everyone at my table knew too, and they were crying also. They kept hugging me and saying, “It’s a message from your Mom.”

Now, you may say, that just doesn’t make sense…that I am trying to put meaning and “message” to a “happenstance” occurrence to meet an emotional and psychological need for myself. You may have a point, but….you should ask yourself these questions: just how many times have you heard a song from the musical, “Oklahoma,” played in the middle of a DJ’s 70’s disco playlist? And what are the odds of it being the very same song that my Mama sang most mornings? I choose to believe that somehow my Mama got a message to me – to let me know that everything was going to be OK, and that she was still close by. The thought comforts me, and I can almost hear her saying, “It will be alright, baby.” I continue to be amazed at the wonder and mystery of our universe, and always believe that the impossible is possible! Won’t you join me? Just for this week…