Tag Archives: humor

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There’s an elephant in the room…

I’m hoping that everyone stayed warm this past week. I don’t know about you, but I am so ready for Spring! I was disheartened to hear that the “official” groundhog saw his shadow, meaning six more weeks of cold weather…Oh well, that will make us just that more thankful when warm weather does finally arrive! Now, to this week’s story…

Whenever I travel to a conference, even for one presentation, I always take two outfits to wear. You never know what might happen, and I like to have a “spare,” just in case… On this particular occasion, I was headed down to Orlando, FL, for a huge conference. I’m not sure what I was thinking, but I had just picked up a brushed silk suit from the dry cleaners, so I threw it in my garment bag, and headed for the airport. I cannot explain why I did not take two suits for that trip.

I arrived at the hotel and settled in for the evening. The next morning, I got up as usual, took my shower, and began getting dressed. I pulled my suit out and stepped into the skirt. Once I had the skirt on, I looked down and realized that there was a HUGE crease going from my right hip down to my left knee. In other words, the entire front of the skirt was creased. It looked awful! I quickly got out of the skirt and fired up the steam iron. I pressed and pressed that skirt to no avail. Nothing I did removed the crease!

(At this point in the story, I need to give you a little background about me. As a professional speaker, I am very particular about how I dress. The hair has to be “just right,” which most days can prove to be a challenge in that I have naturally curly hair. I get a surprise each morning because I never know which way it is going to go…I use just enough makeup to hide nature’s damages, but not enough to make me look like a hussy. The suits must be stylish, clean, fit well, have no creases or lines, and NO “rumples” anywhere. Shoes must be polished and have no noticeable scrapes. If  even one of these areas are not as they should be, it will definitely impact my presentation and delivery.)

So here I was in Orlando with only one suit, and it had that big ole’ crease across the front. What to do? I knew that once I got onstage, and started my keynote address, that people would be noticing the crease, and for some, it would become so distracting, that they would not hear my message. As I stood to the side, waiting for my introduction and cue to come onstage, I was perplexed as to how I could reconcile that blasted crease. The moment came, the introduction was given, and I made my way to the center of the stage. I walked to the very edge of the stage, as close to the audience as possible, and said, “I would like to draw everyone’s attention to my skirt, and the crease on the front. I do not normally wear wrinkled clothing. I know that it is there, and I tried to get rid of it, but here’s a little life secret that just might help you out in the future. If the dry cleaners put the crease in, they are the ONLY ones who can remove it! So take a good look at it, satisfy your curiosity, and I will begin.” The audience broke out into hysterical laughter and applause! In fact, I had to wait quite a few moments for them to settle down. I then gave the keynote that they were expecting, and it ended better than I had anticipated.

Why is it, that when there is something so obviously wrong (like the elephant in the middle of the room), that we act like it doesn’t exist; knowing that all anyone can see or think about IS the elephant in the room? I have found that when you go ahead and bring the problem out into the open for dialogue and communication, you take away it’s ability to cripple and limit you. I try very hard to maintain that control, keep the lines of communication open, and talk about that elephant. Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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“They don’t care about us either…”

This could be considered a continuation of last week’s post, in that this story happened on the same trip…

If you will remember, last week I shared a story of a trip that took me 20 hours to get from Jackson, MS, to Kearney, NE. While waiting for delayed flight, after delayed flight (16 hours’ worth), all flights to Denver (my connecting flight city) were finally cancelled. Well over 100 passengers were in the same situation as I found myself…needing to rebook a new flight. As was usual for this particular airline (United), they provided only one working phone for passenger use, and only one agent to rebook everyone. If you are familiar with air travel, you understand that every second counts when attempting to secure a new reservation once flights are cancelled. The prevailing rule of thumb is that seats are awarded on a “first come, first serve” basis. This means that the first ones in line usually receive the available seats on other flights. The people toward the end of the line are simply out of luck.

So once the announcement had been made that all flights to Denver were cancelled, there was a wild dash to get to the front of the line (or as close to it as possible). I have become very adept with this process, so I ended up the tenth person in a crowd of over 100. All of us were tired, and maybe just a little punchy. The poor agent was harried, tired herself, and having to put up with all sorts of  abuse from passengers, who held her personally responsible for the snow blizzard.

As we were standing in line, there was a man, about seven people behind me, that just could not contain his impatience and frustration. He was constantly huffing and puffing, drawing more and more attention to himself…At regular intervals, he would step out of line, walk up to the agent, glare at her intently, harrumph with an exaggerated sigh, and then turn and walk back to his place in line. His entire demeanor conveyed that he was very obviously inconvenienced (the ONLY one in our group, apparently…), a very important person (as all the rest of us were not…), and that he should be serviced immediately. He kept getting out of line and approaching the agent, just to glare at her. Finally, after several trips to the counter, he finally interrupted the agent and shouted, “United Airlines does not care about their customers!” The agent never looked up, never stopped working on the current passenger’s rebooking. While typing, she said, “You are absolutely right, sir!” “They don’t care about their employees either!” She left the man speechless, and gave us all a little chuckle at her “moxie.”

This entire “drama” brought home some “truths” for me. First, I feel strongly that if you work for someone, and are accepting a paycheck from them, they deserve your loyalty. If you don’t like the company you work for, or don’t like the way they do business, then find someone else to work for. Life is too short to work at a job that you do not like! Secondly, I was taught that I was not better than anyone else, and that no one was better than me. I don’t understand individuals who think they deserve preferential treatment; that they should be “served” before others. We are all in this life together, and wouldn’t it be so much better if we treated each other with respect, consideration, and courtesy? That’s what I try to do. Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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Don’t You Fret None…I WILL be there!!

By now, you all know that I travel a great deal in my work. In that travel, I can face quite a few challenges in “getting to” the location where I am to speak…lightning strikes, thunderstorms, floods, ice, snow blizzards, mechanical problems with the plane…you just never know what you might face once you get to the airport. In 35 years of traveling around the United States, I have only been late to one conference, only missing my morning presentation. It can be a little daunting when trying to figure out how to get to a conference location; however, I am pretty much known in our industry as a “sure thing.” Education Directors and Meeting Planners know that I will make every effort possible to honor my commitment to their conference. So here is the story for this week…

I was scheduled to be the keynote speaker for an annual conference in Kearney, NE. In addition to being the keynote, I was to provide a full day of additional presentations. I never make reservations on the very last flight into a city, “just in case…” You always want there to be “another” flight, “just in case…”

On this particular morning, I had an extremely early flight, so I was at the airport bright-eyed and bushy-tailed! We all got on the plane (the first leg of my trip), and as soon as they closed the door, the inside of the plane filled with smoke. We all thought it was a pretty good idea to get back OFF the plane, so that’s what we did very quickly. The airline did not have another plane for us to use, so we had to wait for them to send in another plane from another airport – a 2 hour delay to the beginning of my trip. As is my habit, I contacted the Meeting Planner/Education Director and explained that I had run into difficulties, but I thought that I would be able to rebook other flights to make the trip. I explained that I would be late, but I would be there in time for the opening session.

The second plane came…we all got on it…they closed the door…and no smoke…so we were good to go. We made it to Houston, where I was to make a connection to Denver, CO. While waiting for the plane to Denver, the agent got on the PA and announced that the flight to Denver was cancelled. They then booked me on another flight to Denver. In doing this, I was going to miss all connecting flights to Kearney, NE, and not be able to make it for my presentation. After much discussion with the airline agents, they suggested that I could rent a car in Denver, and drive over to Kearney…about a 4-5 hour drive in the best of circumstances. I asked them how they thought I might be able to drive in a snow blizzard, when all flights were being delayed or cancelled. They did not have very good answers to my concerns. So, I asked them, “What is is the closest city to Kearney that you can fly me into?” They said they could fly me into Lincoln, and I could then rent a car to make the 3-hour drive to Kearney. The flight would arrive into Lincoln at 1:00 a.m. in the morning, and after I had rented a car, and driven the 3 hours, I would hopefully arrive in Kearney at between 4:00 a.m. – 5:00 a.m. the next morning. This was the only way that I was going to get there, so I agreed. I had been in airports for approximately 17 hours when my flight boarded for Lincoln. Most everyone I know would have just called it a loss, and told the Meeting Planner that they could not make it…that they were just going to try and return home. But, me being me, I just could not do it that way. A commitment is a commitment.

I called the Education Director, a very dear friend of mine, and brought her up to speed on the latest developments. She said that the she was sending a driver from the hotel to pick me up in Lincoln, so that I would not have to drive those last three hours. She also said that she had placed a blanket and a pillow in the back seat so that I could sleep on the way. The poor driver was a young man who had worked a double shift at the hotel, and now was driving three hours in sleet and snow to pick me up. We then drove the three hours back to the hotel in the same sleet and snow. There was NO WAY that I was going to get in the back seat, and try to sleep, while this poor young man was exhausted. So we talked the entire way to the hotel – almost four solid hours! He was such a sweet person, and going through quite a few problems in his own life. He opened up to me and I tried to give him some good, caring, sound advice. I’m told he still asks about me whenever they have a conference at that same hotel, so I am hoping that the words of advice that I gave helped him in some small way.

We arrived safely at the hotel around 5:30 a.m. I checked in, got to my room, and fell onto the bed for a 1-hour nap. At 7:30 a.m., I arrived at the ballroom to set up for my keynote address. The Education Director almost body-slammed me with a hug of gratitude and thankfulness that I had made it safely! (Or that I had made it at all!) At 8:00 a.m. I began my presentation. NO ONE knew that I had spent 17 hours on planes, and in airports, and an additional four hours riding in a car in sleet and snow to be there with them for that morning session. The title of my keynote, you ask? “Motivation vs. Burnout!”

Sometimes you have to keep going, even when you are so bone-tired that you can’t see straight. It’s all about honoring commitments that have been made. Do people know they can count on you? That you are dependable? What do your actions say to others? Do you exceed their expectations? I always want to be someone who can be counted on…that people will know I will try everything in my power to be there for them. Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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Not on my watch….

I have to preface this story, so that all of you will have a complete understanding and appreciation for what I am about to tell you. First and foremost, I am an animal lover! I melt when I see little animal babies. I continue to be amazed at an animal’s power of reasoning, their sense of family, and their ability to show unconditional love, affection, commitment and fierce loyalty. I am that lady who will take stray, hurt animals to the vet for care. Animals seem to know this about me, as they will come directly to me, a complete stranger, when they enter a room full of people.

The second thing you need to know is that I am a highly allergic person…to almost anything and everything. So whenever I complete any type of cleaning, I have to use all natural cleansers, or I have to “uniform up”….coveralls/paint suit, mask, gloves, and goggles…Quite a sight to behold! Now, to this week’s story….

I live on a lake in East TN. The Smoky Mountains are my back yard. It is such a beautiful place, and I feel so blessed to be here at this time in my life. I live in an area that is surrounded by nature. On a daily basis I get to see deer, foxes, otters, bald eagles, ospreys, ducks, geese, woodchucks, and yes, even skunks, possums and raccoons. I am absolutely in heaven; course, I could do without those skunks…  

On this  particular day, last summer, it was time to pressure wash and clean the pier and dock. I had all the necessary equipment and supplies. Because of the cleansers that I would be using, I was, of course, “decked out.” I had my white coverall suit on, galoshes, gloves, mask and goggles. I looked like an official ghost buster! I’m sure the neighbors take pictures when I am not looking to send to their relatives back home…with captions like, “see, we TOLD you…”  

I had just finished cleaning one section of the dock, and had turned the pressure washer off so that I could refuel. As I was standing there, taking a breather, I heard a very agitated, desperate duck quacking at the top of its lungs, as if there was cause for great concern. I kept turning around, searching for the source of all this commotion. I looked across the way and saw a mother duck, swimming along with her four, very tiny, babies. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the source of distress. A magnificent, bald eagle was soaring in the sky, just above the family of ducks. Much to my horror, I saw the eagle circle, and then drop to make the approach, with talons open, to snatch up those babies for a meal. I ran to the end of the dock, screaming, “Nooooooooo!! Stop!!” I was stomping my feet, clapping my hands, and screaming like a wild banshee!!! I looked as if someone or something had taken over my body….like I had just had a “come to Jesus meeting,” and was so filled with the Spirit, that I had lost all control of my bodily functions. Nothing worked! That eagle kept diving. With each attack, the Mama duck would raise up out of the water, spread her wings over the baby ducks, and quack hysterically loud in fear and protest. I knew that she could not last much longer, and that I had to do something.  

I ran very quickly to the front yard and got my best friend. By this time, I was a little hysterical myself. I told her, “Come quick! You HAVE to help me! We have to save them!!” As we were running to the dock, I explained the situation. I told her, “you have to get in your kayak and row over to protect those babies.” It was the fastest kayak launch I have ever seen! She could have medaled in the Summer Olympics! She was a wonder to see! Fast, strong strokes brought her and the kayak close to the little family of ducks. She positioned herself just behind them and began waving her oar around to ward off the eagle attacks. At first, the eagle did not want to give up, but finally, he or she saw that baby duck lunch was NOT going to happen this particular day…not on my watch! My friend had to follow the little family quite a distance before Mama duck found a safe location from the eagle. Whew! Disaster averted…and even more surprisingly, I had not drawn the usual crowd of curious onlookers…  

We are presented with situations each day in which we must make decisions regarding appropriate actions that should be taken (or not taken) on our part. We have to decide if we want to become involved, impact a result, or let “nature take its course.” So many people just stand aside and let injustice or unfairness take place, even when it is within their power to affect the outcome. I don’t want to EVER be that person who just stands on the sidelines and lets the vulnerable be attacked, harmed or abused, whether it is a woman, man, child, elder or animal. I will defend, protect, advocate, help and love, as long as there is breath in my body. NOT. ON. MY. WATCH. Not going to happen! Not even to baby ducks… Won’t you join me? Just for this week….

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“I love all people….”

Happy New Year!! I hope that everyone has a year filled with hope, excitement, love, success, etc., etc., etc… (You catch my drift, right?) I hope that each of you attain your heart’s desire! And…it looks as if I am going to keep blogging past my one year’s commitment. We will just see how it goes…So, for now, keep checking in each week to learn of my latest adventures and/or misadventures…

Working in aging services, I have always questioned the credibility of certain tests and evaluations utilized to assess an individual in specific areas, especially those used for the assessment of cognition and mood state. I think the “scores” of said tests can label and stereotype an individual. The person becomes defined by how well, or how poorly, they did on the test. They  become a “score,” as opposed to maintaining their autonomy and individual  uniqueness. Because of professional standards of practice, and mandated requirements, I have given the Mini Mental Status Questionnaire more times than I can remember. I know all of the questions by heart. So when it came time for my own Mother to experience this test, I was anxious! I knew how the score would be used.

It was our very first visit to the neurologist, and I knew that they would need a “base scoreline” to determine the progression of her disease, as well as utilize the data to determine appropriate medications and treatment. She wanted me to stay in the room with her, so I got to listen as she responded to each query. If sheer will could have affected the outcome of the test, she would have scored 100% accuracy, simply on my nervous energy alone!! With each question, I would sit there, willing her to state the correct answer. In my head, I found myself trying to come up with suitable answers that would be convincing enough to assure someone that I had all of my faculties about me. Under duress, and immeasurable anxiety, it was a lot harder than you can imagine. I found that I was not really sure of the actual date, or the day of the week. I did know the year!

The last item of this test states, “Write a complete sentence.” Now, I’m sitting there, thinking and thinking…”what would be a good, intelligent sentence to write?” I pondered and pondered; however, my Mother wrote down a sentence almost immediately! That first test, she did rather well! On the drive back home, I asked Mother, “what sentence did you write down?” “I couldn’t think of anything!!” She laughed and said, “I just wrote, I sure hope I pass this test!” I was laughing so hard that I almost had to pull to the side of the road. How incredible a response!!!

As her disease progressed, the tests increased, and the scores began to worsen. She began to dread going to see the neurologist. She would ask, “Are they going to give me that test?” She knew that she was having more and more difficulty coming up with the correct answers. And we both knew what that meant…With each test, I was always interested in that very last directive – “write a complete sentence.” She never used the same answer twice, but with each test, her sentences became shorter and more simplistic. On this particular day, we did not know it, but it would be her last visit and her last test. As before, on the drive home, I asked what sentence she wrote. On this occasion, she smiled sweetly and said, “I love all people.” And there, in that one sentence, was the defining truth for my Mother, for she, in fact, DID love all people.

I wonder how many of us can remain true to who we are in the midst of physical and mental decline. That even when we are debilitated, and see the losses that are occurring, can we be certain that the “pure self” – who we really are on the inside – will be evident to us and  others? I want to live such a life, that even when, or if, I cannot direct my thoughts or actions, that my sweet spirit, and “true self” will come through naturally. For you see, just like my Mother, “I love all people.” Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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Are you hungry?

In just a few days we will welcome in another brand new year! 2014. Can you believe it? It seems that it was just a “short while” ago that I was introducing you to my project for the year…this blog. I cannot believe the year has gone so fast, and that this week’s post will be my 52nd article. As you know, I began this blog in an effort to focus my mind on some “positives,” week by week, to help me through a difficult period of pain and loss. It has helped me more than I can say, and if the comments, support and encouragement received are indicators of your enjoyment, the effort was more than successful! So, I would like to say thank you to everyone who has followed me in my journey for the entire year. With the passing of one year into the next, what better opportunity to write a story about time?

Have you noticed that all of us complain about not having enough time to get everything done? It seems that the faster I go, the “behinder” I get. Not long ago, I asked a close friend whether she thought I was getting slower, or did I just have more “demands” for my time coming across my desk. Ever the diplomat, she said, “Well, we’re all getting a little slower, but you DO have a lot coming across your desk.” Hmmm…I can remember when I first started my career. I was part of a corporate team responsible for 101 nursing homes in seven states. I was wired!! I could do 3-4 tasks at a time, and not bat an eye. I was in a different city or state every other day. I moved…and I moved fast…I got the job done! I lived and breathed by a watch, clock, and calendar! If I sat down at home to “relax,” I was doing several things at one time while sitting. I could not just sit still, doing nothing for even ten minutes. I was always checking that watch, to make certain I would meet a deadline, or to determine when and where I needed to be next.

When I finally resigned from the company that I had worked with most of my adult life, and started a business with a friend of mine, I was determined that I would truly stop rushing all of the time and learn how to relax. It was one of the hardest things I have ever attempted to do in my life. I really could NOT sit still for ten minutes. So, I was determined…I began timing myself…it was MISERABLE! I tried and tried to relax and have more time for doing the things I enjoyed, but I was not being very successful.

One day I was with a friend, and I had forgotten to wear a watch. I kept asking her what time it was. She asked me why I needed to know the time. I told her that I needed to know if it was time to eat lunch. She looked at me with a perplexed expression, and asked, “Are you hungry?” And at that very moment, with that very statement, everything slipped right into perspective for me! I realized that I was letting a little electrical mechanism control every second of my life! Did I really need a small attachment to my wrist to tell me when I should eat, or go to bed, or do anything? So, the watch came off! And it has stayed off! I only use it now to make certain I begin and end my speaking engagements on time. The change in my life was wonderful! I can now actually sit for long periods of time relaxing. I now make choices on how I truly want to spend my time, and with whom I want to be with. I make my time count…for me. 

Time is so precious, and is gone before we realize it. All of us have the very same amount of time each day…24 hours. What makes the difference in what can be accomplished in that time is YOU and your CHOICES! You can choose to take on so much responsibility that you will never get it all done. You will always come up short, because simply put, you have too many irons in the fire! Or, you can decide what is truly important and worthy of your precious time, and use it wisely to pursue those efforts. In other words, make your time “count.” One of my favorite sayings comes from the prophet, Kahlil Gibran, who said, “For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? Seek him always with hours to live.” “Hours to live…not to kill…” What a wonderful statement and premise. This year I’m not making any resolutions. (I never have done that, to be honest.) I am simply going to spend my time with “hours to live,” and I am going to keep the watch off of my arm, and eat when I am hungry. Won’t you join me? Just for this week….

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Uh oh! Christmas decorations….

To say that my Mother loved Christmas would be an understatement. Oh, how she loved the season, the family gatherings, the cooking and food, and oh my, THE DECORATIONS!! She delighted in coming up with a very creative, unique “design” for our house decorations each year. She would visualize the concept and bring the idea to my father and me to figure out how to “make it happen.” I will admit that there were quite a number of years that she almost had us stumped as to how we would accomplish what she wanted. But each time, we eventually figured it out…The result was usually magnificent, meaningful, and beautiful. Our house was the one in town that everyone drove by to see. I am not talking about those really tacky light displays you see in some neighborhoods or on TV shows. Each year we created a different winter wonderland of lights and design. We usually won a city award, although that was not the intent. Mother just loved the beauty of it all, and what the season meant. Now for this week’s story…

My family was never rich by monetary standards. Actually, looking back, we were poor; however, we, as children, never knew that. I tell people that I had a storybook childhood, and I did! I can remember when we finally got our first television set. I was probably around seven years old. We were so excited! It was a small black and white TV. There was no way that we could have ever afforded a color television set. However, I had always determined in my mind, that when I grew up, and was making money on my own, that I would buy my parents a color TV set. It was one of those dreams that you definitely want to make come true…

Our family was full of traditions that were followed at Christmas time. The entire extended family would gather at my grandparent’s home on Christmas Eve. We would have refreshments and open gifts. All I ever remember of these times are much love, wonder, and laughter. Each family would then go to their own homes, all of us children (the cousins) almost vibrating with the excitement and anticipation of Santa’s visit. The next morning, after we had all celebrated our individual Christmases, we would return to my grandparent’s home for Christmas dinner. What a feast that was! And all the kids got to play with their new gifts. Wonderful, wonderful memories!

On this particular Christmas, I had returned from college, and had begun working at a local nursing home – the very first position of my career. I was living with my folks at the time. They still had an old black and white television set, and I knew what was in store for them this special Christmas. I was about to make good on that childhood dream of giving them a color TV. However, being my Mother’s daughter, I did not want it to be just a box that they unwrapped…I wanted a little surprise and “creativity.”

One of my old high school classmates just happened to own an appliance store. When purchasing the new television, I had convinced him to deliver and set up the TV at my parents’ home while we were over at my grandparent’s home celebrating Christmas Eve. (Now that is what small town living is like…I even left the front door open so that he could get inside the house!) Upon returning from my grandparent’s home, I was beside myself with anticipation. My plan was to go in first so that I could see their reaction when they entered the living room. I was not going to say anything…I was just going to “be casual” and see how long it would take for them to discover the new “addition.” I walked in like normal and saw that the TV had indeed been delivered by “Santa.” And then I waited….Everyone was bringing in their gifts, taking off their coats, and of course, my little brother noticed the TV first. He just hollered out, “What is that?” My Mother and Father turned around, saw the TV, and then she looked straight at me and started to cry. Of course, by this time, I was crying also. She grabbed and hugged me, whispering, “I could just whip you!” (For those of you who are not Southerners, that means that I had done something I should not have…lol) She never wanted to be the recipient of our monetary success. This is one of my most favorite memories, and I bring it to mind to enjoy during each Christmas season.

For me, Christmas is not only a religious event that I celebrate, but it is a time when I get to show the people whom I love just how special they are to me (although I try to do that every day of my life). It reaffirms for me that dreams can come true, and that there is still some wonder left in this world. I hope you take the time this year to enjoy the “wonder.” That’s what I will be doing! Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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So you say you want fried chicken…

It is a well known fact…if you are from the South, you LOVE fried chicken! For most of my young life, my father pastored small country churches. Almost every Sunday, some family in the church would invite our family into their home for Sunday dinner…and almost always, it was fried chicken…HEAVENLY!!! Imagine my dismay, as I got older, and realized that a continual diet of “fried” anything, was bad for your health. Nowadays, I “splurge” maybe once a month and eat something fried…usually either fried chicken or catfish. Yum! So it may be a little surprising that this week’s article does involve fried chicken…

I can remember when Kentucky Fried Chicken first came to our town. Oh my, that “original recipe…” finger-lickin’ good…I have gotten a chuckle out of the chain’s more recent marketing techniques, in that they no longer use “Kentucky FRIED Chicken” in their advertising. They simply refer to themselves as “KFC,” as if we will not KNOW what the “F” stands for…

Since I was Choir  Director at our church, my Sundays were always the busiest day of the week. I usually cooked a nice meal for friends and family, but there were other times when we either went out to eat after church, or picked something up to take back home. On this particular Sunday, I was simply going to pick up some chicken (yes, fried), and fix a few “sides” myself for the meal. Now, let’s remember, it was on a SUNDAY, and it was around 12:05 p.m. – “prime” chicken time…

I walked into the KFC just like I walk into any place of business, with a smile on my face, and a cheery greeting to the employee. That was the first problem. The woman looked as if it were her very last day on earth, and she had to come to work! She looked at me with an expression that said, “you’re going to want something, aren’t you?” She said, “Can I help you?”…not really meaning it… I smiled brightly and gave her my order. She made a heavy sigh and turned around to walk over to the counter where the chicken was, which was about three feet away. It took her almost five minutes to make the walk. I could have just laid on the floor and gotten there quicker than she did! I could have gone out back, chased a chicken down in the yard, caught and plucked it by time she made her journey! Once she got there, she looked into the bin, turned around, came back to where I was standing (another five minutes), and said, “We don’t have any.” I looked at her incredulously, with disbelief, and said, “You don’t HAVE any fried chicken, on a Sunday, at noon?” She said, “No, Ma’am.” (What I wanted to say was, “This IS a Kentucky Fried Chicken in the South, for goodness sakes!! What is wrong with you people? You KNOW people want their fried chicken after church! Why didn’t you have some made, prepared for all of us? We want fried chicken on Sunday!!”) However, I am a nice person, who believes that you should treat people better than you would like to be treated, so I paused for a moment, and asked, “Could you make some?” She looked at me, almost giddy with relief, and said, “Well, yes, but it will take 10 minutes…” It was obvious that she thought I would not wait for her to cook the chicken, and she would not have to exert any more energy working. I surprised her, and said, “That would be great! I will be happy to wait.”  She turned around and ever so slowly went to the back to cook some chicken. TWENTY minutes later I had my chicken and was on my way home…with a promise to myself that I would never go back to that particular KFC, especially on a Sunday. But the incident got me to thinking…

Most of you know that I am a huge Pat Summit fan (former UT basketball coach for the Lady Volunteers). In one of her motivational speeches, she said, “You can control how hard you work.” I truly believe that! Some people just “show up” for work. You’ve seen them, and maybe you work with some of them. Who knows, maybe you ARE one of them…they basically say through their actions, “I’m here – what else could you possibly want?” I was taught that if you were hired to do a job, you did the job to the best of your ability. This means, that if someone hired you for an 8-hour day, you gave them your best for the full 8 hours.

Most of us spend so much of our lives working. I cannot understand individuals who continue to work at something that they don’t enjoy. I do understand that we don’t always have opportunity or means to get the position of our dreams; however, it takes us right back to that earlier thought…if someone gives you a job, and pays you for that job, whether you like it or not, you promised to do the job to the best of your ability. This KFC employee made a choice that Sunday as to how hard she was going to work…and she obviously decided “not to.” She was just going to “get by” with doing as little as she could.

I’ve been fortunate, and very blessed, to be in a field, and a job, that I enjoy…every day! But you know what, I’ve also had those jobs that I did not like as well, but I wanted to eat and be able to pay bills, so I worked. Those employers got the same level of energy, enthusiasm, and hard work that I give when I am doing something I love. Life is short…find a job doing something you enjoy. Just as Pat says, I control how hard I work, so you know what my choice is…Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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You’re going to Barney Fife this; aren’t you??

It’s a good thing I just have a little more than a month of my commitment to this blog…It seems that I am finding it more and more difficult to hit that Sunday night deadline. Please accept my apologies, once again, for being late.

I have had the same best friend for 45 years! Throughout the years, I have gotten her into more “snafus,” embarrassing moments, and humiliating situations than she expected, or was prepared for. She is the Laverne to my Shirley…the Ethel to my Lucy…Given our history, I am amazed that she will still go anywhere with me…We travel a great deal in our business, so this is one of those travel stories…

Unfortunately, after the September 11th tragedy, we had to fly to Minneapolis, MN…only about three weeks after the incident. Anyone flying during this time was pretty apprehensive and a little fearful. We entered the airport with armed military personnel standing at all entrances, and scattered throughout the airport. For the first time, we were almost strip-searched at security. (As an aside, you need to know that I am not the world’s best air traveler to begin with, even though I have to fly quite a bit. I am quite aware that the machine I am flying in, could go down in a huge fiery ball, at any given moment. So, when I get on a plane, I do several things to take my mind off of the “obvious.” I will play trivia onboard, if that is an option, or soduko; but mostly, I get a good book and read the entire time that I am in the air.)

We made it through security, and boarded our first flight with no problems. Of course, our connection was in Atlanta, so we had a little layover before boarding the next flight. All passengers had been told to be “alert” and mindful of the “goings on” around you…that if you saw anything “suspicious,” it would be better to err on the side of caution, as opposed to doing nothing. So….as we were sitting at our gate, two separate individuals caught my attention. Yes, I WAS profiling…whether you agree or disagree is not a factor…you weren’t the one flying three weeks after the terrible tragedy in NYC! At that point in time, here was my thought…if it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck…it probably IS a duck! The two individuals, who got my attention, were not seemingly together. Both were pacing back and forth around the gate area, and talking very “furtively” on their cell phones. To me, they DID look and act a little suspicious…I did not say anything to my travel partner at the time. I just continued to observe, and process…

The agent announced that it was time for us to board the plane, so we gathered our briefcases and books, and lined up to enter the jet bridge. As we were in line, I turned around to get one more look at my “suspicious” characters. Much to my dismay (or relief), I saw that both men had been pulled over by security, and were being asked questions. I thought, “Aha! You called that one right!!” I was extremely relieved to know that they were not getting on the plane with us! We got to our seats and got settled in. I happened to be sitting in the aisle seat. We put our briefcases under the seats in front of us, buckled our seat belts, and calmly began reading our books. I took that moment to comment that “those men that I had been watching” had been pulled out of the line, and were probably not going to be on the plane with us. The comments and questions began.  “What men?” “Who were you watching…and WHY were you watching them?” “And what do you mean, they have been pulled out of line?” My friend patiently listened (as she always does when I seem to be overreacting or panicking), and reassured me that everything was going to be OK…to stop worrying. I felt a little sheepish that I might have been a little overly concerned…that is, until I saw the first man enter the plane. His seat just “happened” to be directly in front of mine. 

As my brain was processing this new turn of events, I began thinking of how I could subdue the man if he began any “terrorist” actions once we got up in the air. I was trying to remember all of those wrestling “choke holds” that my little brother used on me a number of times as we were growing up. I was trying to remember how to use a pencil or pen as a deadly weapon if you hit the “right” spot on someone’s neck! I was planning out my moves, step by step, “just in case…” Just as I thought I had everything under control, the second man entered the plane and sat in the seat, across the aisle, right beside me! Of course, I was thinking…I am going to have to take both of them out at the same time!! Naturally, I did NOT mention any of my meandering thoughts to my traveling buddy…

The plane took off, and we were on our way! Everything seemed as it should be, and I relaxed a little and began to read my book. Unfortunately, I finished my book about 30 minutes before we arrived in Minneapolis, so I had a little extra time for “observations.” Minutes before we began our approach into the Twin Cities, the man in front of me got up and went to the rear bathroom. Within moments, the second man got up and went to another bathroom, also in the rear of the plane. After a while, I thought maybe I should mention this situation to my friend. It went something like this… Me: “Both of those men went back to bathrooms quite a while ago.” Her: “What? What are you talking about? Which men?” Me: “The men that I was watching at the Atlanta Airport…the men that got pulled out of line for questioning…those suspicious men!! They have been in the bathrooms long enough to take care of whatever business they needed to do!!” Her: “You’ve finished your book; haven’t you?” Me: “Yes, but that does not negate the fact that they have been back there too long! I timed them! I think I need to alert the stewardess.” Her: “You are going to Barney Fife this; aren’t you? You’re going to make a Citizen’s Arrest!” Me: “No, but they told us to speak up if we observed anything suspicious, and I have observed quite a lot of ‘suspicious’ this trip!” Her: “Just give it a few more minutes, and if they have still not returned to their seats, then talk with the stewardess.” Me: “Ok, I will wait a few moments longer.” It’s a good thing I waited! Both men returned to their seats, and we landed safely in Minneapolis…Me, without making a Barney Fife Citizen’s Arrest, and my friend, with no humiliating or embarrassing moment where I drew unnecessary attention to us. As always, the story now is so much funnier (and safer) than it was when in the moment.

Fear can control our lives if we let it. It can cause us to misinterpret someone’s actions. It can paralyze us to the point that we can do nothing, when action is absolutely vital. It can keep us from taking on new challenges, and make us unwilling to try “new things.” It keeps us from being adventuresome. What are you afraid of? And how does it impact your life? I want to live a life without worry and fear of what “may” happen. I will certainly exercise good judgment, but I will NOT let fear control who I am, or who I want to be. Won’t you join me? Just for this week…

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Is she OK?

It has been a wonderful week! A brisk, “nip” to the air…hearing from old and new friends…celebrating life and renewal with those I love…What more could you ask for??? Hope your week was wonderful also!!

Because I travel a great deal, and because I find human beings to be so wonderfully odd, interesting, bizarre, motivating, frustrating….I do a lot of “people watching.” I try to figure out their “stories,” as I am observing from my “viewing seat.” I have been offended, reassured, surprised, disgusted, delighted, and my heart has been touched at times by the actions of other people…”casual strangers,” if you will…

Until recently (when a new grocery store opened closer to my home), I did most of my grocery shopping in town at a large franchise grocer. I will admit, on occasion, I did like to get one of their deli lunches and eat “on site,” before hitting the aisles for groceries. This particular store had an outside covered dining area that was very pleasant. A friend of mine had come with me on this trip, and we had decided to get us a bite to eat before shopping. As we were eating, we noticed a much older Asian woman sitting about two tables from us with her buggy and purse. She was not so much actually sitting at the table, as she was sleeping at the table. She would occasionally rouse up, look around and go back to sleep. Of course, with my background and field of work, she was like a “red flag” waving in front  of me, calling for my attention. Not wanting to assume that there was something wrong with her, or that she was lost and did not know where she was, I had observed her for a while to determine what my action should be. Before I could get up to check on her, a young lady came from inside the deli, and asked if she could sit down with the older woman. The woman said, “Yes.” I was interested in where the conversation and interaction was going, so I did indeed eavesdrop. 

The young lady, with kindness, respect, and empathy, began talking with the older woman. During their conversation, she found out all of the necessary information to determine if the elder woman was lost, in distress, or needed help or assistance of any kind. She spent a good amount of time with her, just “visiting.” She never exhibited any condescension, impatience, or lack of respect as she interacted with the older woman. Finally, after apparently being satisfied that nothing was amiss, the young lady took her leave, thanking the older woman for giving her time and conversation.  After a few minutes, the older woman rose from the table, got her buggy and purse, and approached the entry door back into the grocery store. We stood up to help open the door, and the woman started a conversation with us. She said with a chuckle, “You know, I think that young lady thought there was something wrong with me. I had come to shop for groceries, but it looked so nice out here, I thought I would just stop and rest for a moment. She was so sweet to check on me, but everything is fine.” I chuckled along with her and commented that wasn’t it nice someone cared enough “just to check on you.” You could tell that she was pleased at both the concern and the interaction that she had experienced.

The young lady could have handled this situation so much differently…she could have “fussed” at the older woman for napping at one of their tables…she could have assumed that the lady was lost, and could have insulted her…she could have assumed that because she was older, that she was not capable of making “sound” decisions…Any of these scenarios would have ended up badly, because there really wasn’t anything wrong with the woman. It made me wonder how others might have handled the situation. Do we automatically assume the worst, when we see that an older person is involved? Do we automatically assume that an older person needs our guidance, that they don’t know what to do and can’t make decisions? Do we automatically speak to them in that child-like, sing-song voice, as if they have no sense at all??? Oh my, I think many of our elders just chuckle to themselves, and humor us… As I teach in my sessions, don’t label a person by age, race, ethnicity, gender, geographic region, religion or medical diagnosis – just to name a few…Get to know the person individually, and give them the opportunity to show you “who they are,” and what their capabilities, strengths, and needs might be. Look at the person as an individual…a real, live human being, who should be treated with all the respect and dignity that you can provide. That’s what I do! Won’t you join me? Just for this week…